Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I have no idea where this came from...

I had a long freakin day today-working on an apartment-where it seemed that all the small things I have left are taking longer than it should. I'm almost there-the renters are moving in tomorrow-probably 5 minutes after I finish!

It is hot here, 100+, and this apartment is upstairs which seems to make it hotter up there. I finished around 8:30pm (or decided to go home before I melted). I think I started today at 1. My clothes were dripping wet, my mood was crappy and I had a headache.

Finally after 2 tylenol and a cold shower I felt better. I ate something and relaxed and had a pretty good rest of the evening, what was left.

I'm laying there on the couch watching cartoons and out of NOWHERE I recollected a memory. A memory that I know for a fact I hadn't had from the time it happened until now. Yes I still watch cartoons! This memory was so vivid that it hit like a ton of bricks.

I must have been about 8 or 9? I'm still fuzzy on the timeline. But the memory clicked and it was like I was there all over again-it was so clear. It is weird that I had repressed? it until now or that it hadn't surfaced for all these years.

It hit so hard and out of the blue that I sat up and had such an overwhelming sense of longing (my Mom and 2 of the dogs I used to have were part of the memory) that I lost my breath-then starting bawling like a baby.

It was so surreal and unexpected but I'm thankful that it happened-I miss them all and it was nice to have this new memory of them.

1 comment:

Sim Warford said...

That's happened to me, too--maybe not in the same circumstances (though I do still watch cartoons occasionally, myself), but I know what you mean. I just have trouble crying, anymore.
And, btw, it probably was hotter upstairs in that apartment--I know our attic is usually hotter than outdoor temps--except in the winter!