Friday, August 26, 2005

More than I can handle?

I'm not sure yet?!

In addition to everything else Rick's oldest son was arrested and is in jail. Actually he is in a detention center which we have been told is pretty bad, but not at all like anything he has experienced before.

He has called many times begging for us to bail him out-he has promised the world if only we would. But luckily Rick hasn't and I don't think he will. He has finally hit bottom and Rick has accepted that he needs to be there for a bit to learn from this.

Rick wanted to bail him out right away, which I can't blame him-this is his son, but he realized enabling him any further would only make the next time of hitting bottom even worse.

It doesn't make the 20 times + collect calls a day any easier to ignore.

His sister took us to a support group and Rick heard things he needed to hear from people who have been down this road before and I think that made the difference. I think his son has a chance as long as he doesn't take lightly the support he will have.

My Dad finally talked my Mom into going to the doctor. She was severely dehydrated from not wanting to eat or drink anything. They put her on and IV drip and gave my Dad some advice on how to keep that from happening again. He got her home and has been making her favorite meals and drinks and so far so good.

She still can't walk on her own but when I called today I heard her in the background yelling and complaining to him-and he laughed and said she is back to normal!

I hope everyone has a great weekend :)

Thursday, August 18, 2005

I'm the last to know...

The last I heard from my Dad is that my Mom was doing fairly decent-for someone dying of cancer that is. She had gained weight and was feeling pretty good-she had got a good "report card" from her doctor.

Then like things that come out of the blue at 10:15pm on a wednesday night I get a call from my Dad and he tells me that she is going downhill fast. He wants me to go talk with hospice with him. Just last week I tried to bring this up and he assured me that hospice was a long way off.

It is strange how a few days change things. He noticed that she is having more trouble getting around-falling and getting confused about where she is. He had to help her with bathroom functions. He sounded so desperate and sad that it reminded me of something in the past.

The first time I learned what love was really all about was when I was young and went with my great grandfather to visit my great grandmother's grave. Me, my Mom, my Dad and my great grandfater went to put flowers on my great grandmothers grave on year when I was 16.

I was bored and felt like I should be doing something cool with my friends and was probably feeling offended that I had to tag along to a cemetary. After they placed the flowers on her grave we get back in the car I remember looking in the backseat and seeing my great grandfather crying. A big tough guy crying got my attention and then he says "I miss her so much".

It hit me then-they had been married for what seemed to me at the time for an eternity and I was feeling pissy that I was missing being with my friends. I have never forgiven myself for that.

By many different cirumstances I have neglected many family relationships-maybe a flaw with me or a difference that they couldn't get past, but I feel this impending death in our family will define each and every one of us.

I have had a few drinks and have rambled on enough! I hope that my family and friends that feel like I have neglected them will give me the space I need to work all the things that I need to right now.

Monday, August 15, 2005

A break in the heat...

Since friday it has rained steadily here. It started when our old roof was off and the new one was partially on! It was a deluge and we had a few leaks until the roofers did some temporary tarping. I guess they didn't watch the weather channel that day! Finally they came back the next day during a break in the rain and finished. It looks really nice.

It has been nice to have a lot of needed rain and to have our high temperatures be in the low 70's.

We finally got our dishwasher installed and working properly. It took a few days because some parts that were supposed to come with the dishwasher either got lost or weren't in the box. I was so excited doing the first load of dishes since I hadn't had a dishwasher for the last 3 years.

My Dad called and said my Mom got a good checkup at the doctor-she had even gained a few pounds. She finally started using a wheelchair when shopping so she hasn't been so tired and run down when she gets home.

Bon Voyage Ginger!
She is off to see one of the American Idol concerts. She has met more famous people this year than you can shake a stick at! I think she has become a groupie!

I blame Georgianna for getting me hooked on Adult Swim. Especially Family Guy and Futurama. I will not admit that I watch Robot Chicken since it is so tasteless that I can't quit laughing at it!

I hope everyone had a great weekend :)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Time flies..

Each day I didn't blog added up and it got to where it was easier not to. I have been neglecting several things in my life it seemed.

Still no change in my Mom, she is eating ok, not in any pain, but I can see her wasting away each time I visit. When I went to visit last-she was watching TV with a vacant stare and everytime I tried to start any conversation she was short and barely understandible.

My sister's way of dealing with this has been to remodel our parents house. I think my sister is upset that me and my brother haven't helped-in fact her and my brother had a huge fight that ended with her screaming obscenities at him. More power to her if she has the money and time, but I don't see scraping and painting the outside of their house in 95 degree weather making me feel any better about her impending death.

My Dad started getting my brother to go mow for him, but he laughed and said that it is too expensive having him do that because by the time he gets the front and back done he has drank his weight in beer.

I quit my job so I didn't have to deal with an overemotional passive aggressive boss. Once I gave my my two weeks notice things went on a honeymoon and she was as nice as could be, but I think it was because another person gave their notice as well and left.

I've got a lot of things done on the house, decorating wise. I have a painting project this weekend and the only thing I'll have left is the kitchen. We were scheduled to get a new roof tomorrow but the rain will put that off a week.

I hope everyone has been doing good and not neglecting their journals like I have! I have a lot of catching up to do :)