Through work, I happened to see someone from my past. 1979 past.
It was someone from the "cool" crowd, someone I wished I could hang out with way back when but I was either too intimidated to attempt that or they were too "cool" to bother with me. It is hard to tell now and does it really even matter?
I wouldn't say I went as far as idolizing this person, but I was jealous of the coolness I interpreted of their life. I envied her so much, her friends, what I thought her life was like-they lived in a neat house, drove the neat foreign car, her mother looked so exotic, and she wore the best stuff in the class.
I heard her talk more in that 30 minutes than I had in the 9 years I went to school with her. As I sit on the other side of the desk as they were interviewed, with quite personal questions, my whole envy/coolness/jealousy ideals from the past were covered with a wet blanket.
I couldn't help but think back to the girl that I thought I knew to the adult that was spilling details quite freely in front of me. It turns out her childhood was horrid with physical and mental abuse. I have no tale to tell like that about my childhood-I look back on my childhood up to graduation and smile.
As I sit there writing and listening to her, it struck me how I percieve things to how they actually are are similar to a funhouse mirror. But I already knew that, this was just an oddly placed reminder.