Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Stuck in the middle

I didn't get anything done on the house today except buy the supplies that I will need for tomorrow, so I thought that was at least something! If all goes well tomorrow I will be well on my way to be moving in or at least packing this weekend.

I have a couple of friends that have been together for 8 years. They are going through a breakup. It is so hard to try to be friends with both of them and not get in the middle of it. I am doing a good job so far, but it is getting harder and harder as it progresses.

Rick has sided with one of them. I refuse to do so. I want to try to remain friends with both of them. If I hang out with one of them, the other will call and want details. I try to be vague about the details without trying to sound vague.

So today I am on the phone with one of them, and the other one shows up at my place wanting to talk. Shortly after, the other figures out what is going on and calls and wants to know what is going on. I don't like to lie, but I refuse to divulge details that are told to me in confidence. It gets trickier each time.

Rick has sided with the friend he thinks has be wronged, which I understand. I have been in each of their shoes and see both sides of the issue. But I am afraid that at one point I am going to have to "choose" between them because they seem to be wanting that.

I was in that same situation when I left my ex. My ex seemed to want to draw a line in the sand and make our common friends choose between one of us. I didn't realize how this affected people until now that I am in that situation. I see what our common friends were faced with.

I have a new perspective on the past, about how new relationships can define old ones.


Anonymous said...

Whoa. I don't envy you at all. I went through the same thing about a decade ago with a straight couple and each of them pulled the same shit of wanting to know what the other was saying, doing, feeling. I finally said to each of them that I would give each party the pledge of confidence and not betray it. I also pointed out that there are plenty of gossipy, drama-loving people out there who would gladly supply the "dirt" -- but I wouldn't be one of them. Good luck!

Kristeena said...

Bless your heart - that's gotta be so hard, especially when the emotions are running so high to begin with. Sounds like you tried to do the right thing, but I bet its gonna be hard to stay friends with both people.
=) kris

letti said...

in a perfect world, people who break up would still be friends and be magnanimous...*sigh*